"She Must Have Deserved It"

Recent surveys find high propensity to blame victim in domestic or dating violence cases

The recent attack by R&B singer Chris Brown on his girlfriend pop icon Rihanna has brought domestic violence into the national media spotlight.

What is interesting about this case is the degree to which both men and women continue to blame the victim. Domestic Violence Solutions noticed this disturbing trend amongst their youngest clients in our Teen Services Program. Teen Services Coordinator Lisa Ahlgren notes, "I am disheartened to report that a consensus does exist [among teens], and that consensus is simple: She must have deserved it."

Many people still believe that there are circumstances in which violence and abuse is deserved and warranted. This viewpoint is being seen in other parts of the country as well. The Boston Herald reports that in a recent survey of 200 Boston teenagers (ages 12 to 19) by the Boston Public Heath Commission, 46 percent said Rihanna was responsible for the beating. Additionally, 44 percent said fighting was a normal part of a relationship. (Source: The Boston Herald)

The Associated Press reported a story this week of an estranged husband opening fire on his wife and others: "Man Kills 4 at Gathering in Miami, " News Press, March 16, 2009. The subtitle reads: "Blames his wife, a victim, because she left him."

The ease with which teens and adults blame victims of domestic violence is alarming, especially after decades of work to educate the community about domestic violence. As Ahlgren recently noticed, "For local teens, the focus has never left Rihanna – What did she do? Is she crazy? What will she do now? The vast majority of teen girls are quick to judge Rihanna's decision to reunite with Brown as stupid and are adamant that they would never take someone back who had abused them" (a direct contradiction to their viewpoint that Rihanna "deserved it")." Many people also ask "Why doesn't she just leave?" or, "Why does she keep going back to him?" Again and again, the victim is blamed and judged.

Whether a rap star beats his girlfriend, or a man opens fire on his wife and family, there is no justification for the violence or for blaming the victim. Unfortunately, the propensity to blame the victim remains a pervasive mindset in our culture and one Domestic Violence Solutions continuously strives to change through outreach and education (see the accompanying sidebar, "What Is a Healthy Relationship?")

If you or someone you know is being abused, please call the DVS crisis line at (805) 964-5245. If you would like a DVS teen services representative to visit your school, club, church or other organization, please call Lisa Ahlgren at (805) 963-4458 x 12. If you would like to make a donation or learn more about relationship abuse and domestic violence, please visit www.dvsolutions.org, or call 963-4458 x 11.