About Our Teen Program
Teen Services Advocates from Domestic Violence Solutions are available year-round for presentations
on teen relationship issues.
We provide interactive activities and videos in the High schools, Jr. High
schools and any professional setting.
Activities include a variety of related topics, including jealousy,
communication, power and control, sexual harassment, and of course, descriptions of all types of abuse.
If you are in
immediate danger
CALL 911
Santa Barbara Shelter
24-Hour Crisis Line
964-5245
Lompoc Shelter
24-Hour Crisis Line
736-0965
Santa Maria Shelter
24-Hour Crisis Line
925-2160
Santa Ynez Valley
24-Hour Crisis Line
686-4390
English and Spanish speaking advocates can also train teachers, service providers and parent groups
to recognize potential red flags in children and students.
Advocates are available to anyone who is concerned with the problem of teen abusive relationships.
For more information or to schedule presentations or workshops call our program coordinator at (805) 564-3300.
Catherine Steininger
Teen Services
P.O.Box 1536
Santa Barbara, CA 93102
(805) 564-3300 ext 3#
(805) 564-1169
catherines@dvsolutions.org
Everyone Deserves a Healthy Relationship
What is a Healthy Relationship?
Ask yourself these questions about your relationship:
- Does each partner respect the other's opinions, even when they are different?
- Does each partner share equally in making decisions about how you will spend your
time together and about other issues?
- Does each partner encourage the other to have friends and interests outside the
relationship?
- Are both partners willing to talk openly and honestly about problems in the relationship,
and willing to work together to resolve conflicts?
- Are both partners willing to accept responsibility for their behavior when something
hurtful is said or done?
- Does each partner respect the limits and
boundaries set by the other?
These are just a few aspects of a healthy relationship: respect,
trust, support, communication, and
equality. Healthy relationships are a partnership
between two people. Most importantly, there is no fear of violence.
How Can I Tell If My Relationship Is Abusive?
- Are you frightened by your partner's temper?
- Does your partner call you names, put you down, and generally make you feel bad about yourself?
- Does your partner try to control you by telling you where you can and can't go, who you can and can't talk to, what you can and can't wear, etc.?
- Has your partner grabbed, slapped, pushed, hit, kicked or thrown objects at you?
- Has your partner threatened you?
- Does your partner blame you after hurting you?
- Does your partner deny or minimize abuse by saying "you're too sensitive", or acting like nothing ever happened?
- Does your partner make promises to change, yet continue to hurt you?
These are the signs of abuse, which may become dangerous. Look carefully at your
relationship and learn about abuse. You deserve a healthy relationship!
What Can You Do?
If you are in an abusive relationship:
- Take it seriously. If you are in immediate danger, call 911.
- Talk to someone about it. Get a reality check.
-
If you aren't ready to break up, make a safety plan. A Teen Services Advocate can
help you with this.
-
If you need shelter or someone to talk to, call our 24-hour crisis line at 964-5245.
- Call our Teen Services Program. We can help with restraining orders, safety planning,
education, support, and other needs you may have.
If you have a friend who is abused:
- Believe the person. Tell the person it is not her/his fault, and nobody deserves
to be abused (no matter what the partner says).
- Don't try to force the person to break up. When the person is ready, she/he will leave.
- Offer your support, and refer your friend to the resources above.
- Educate yourself about abuse.
Some Facts About Teen Abusive Relationships
In the Santa Barbara area, one quarter of teens surveyed reported having experienced an abusive relationship.
Abuse happens in all kinds of relationships, including same-sex relationships.
Abuse happens at all income and educational levels, and in all cultural and ethnic groups.
Abuse escalates over time, sometimes leading to murder. Santa Barbara County averaged four domestic violence-related murders per year between 1980 and 1997.
Catherine Steininger
Teen Services
P.O.Box 1536
Santa Barbara, CA 93102
(805) 564-3300 ext 3#
(805) 564-1169
catherines@dvsolutions.org